Life is good! Why should I freak out?
I sit here on the couch and watch my husband playing X-Box 360. I am kind of watching and reflecting over this past week. My last blog post focused on my new adventure of working out with a personal trainer. My next 2 days were not as dramatic as they were on the first. While I had issues with walking without pain and probably didn't really start feeling better until Sunday, I have noticed already a difference in my endurance.
My goal with this personal training is not necessarily for weight loss. I know that it will be a natural side effect of working my butt off...literally. My goal, as I have told Carlye is based off of a fear I have always had. You know in movies where you see that person slip and fall off the side of a cliff and are only hanging there by a few fingers or with their hand. I know that if I were ever in that situation now, I would die. Without some sort of miracle or sheer adrenaline, I would never make it back over to safety. I want to know that if that ridiculous situation were to ever happen, I could pull myself back up to the safety of ground.
This goal also stems from doing physical therapy and my physical therapist giving me wise advice. He said because of my fibromyalgia diagnosis that I will always need to have some sort of exercise regimen or I will not have the vibrant life I desire because I will be in too much pain. He is correct. Those who I know that have fibromyalgia and are not active end up being in so much pain and basically give up. It's a sad thing to watch a once vibrant person not be able to move and live off of pain meds just to get out of bed in the morning. I don't want to rely on a pill to get me out of bed so I am trying to be proactive.
Yesterday I started chore lists for the family. I did chore lists for just the boys last summer and they worked great. I decided that Zac and I could use one as well since we need structure on these long summer days. So far they have worked amazing and I hope that they continue to keep us focused. It breaks up the housework evenly and gives me the "OK" to not have to clean the entire house every day. I am the type of person who has to do an entire job all at once or I feel like a failure. If I set the goal to clean the house, then every room has to be spotless or I feel like I have failed. I am finding that giving me the OK to not clean the entire house and to break it into smaller portions is helping me not to stress over it.
If I can train myself to do that with school, I would be in great shape. This week I started my Master's classes and I have to remember to pace myself. I have a family that loves me and wants to spend time with me. I cannot spend all day on a computer responding to discussion board post. It goes back to not wanting to feel like a failure and having to complete a task fully before I can put it away. I am having to retrain my brain to say, "It's OK to not respond to everyone's discussion board posts today." I'm already ahead of schedule anyway so I can calm down and relax a bit.
Today started Week 2 with Carlye and that crazy girl tricked me into do 100 lunges. She didn't outright say, "Hey Jennifer, today I'm going to have you do 100 lunges!" No! She said, "Today we are going to start with lunges to get your heart rate up. I want you to try to do 20 each time if you can and I'll tell you why later." I was on board for 20 lunges. After my first 20 lunges across the gym, she goes and gets a light bar and demonstrates the technique she wanted me to do. I did my 20 lunges back to my original starting point. At this point I needed a drink of water so I headed over to my cubbie to get a drink from my cup. She goes and grabs 2 light weights and says, "Ok, we are going to use these for this set, and then I'll show you what we will do for the last 2 sets. The last set will be easy because you have done it before." I think it was the 3rd lunge with the two weights that my math abilities kicked back in and I realized 20 x 5= 100. I tried to block that realization.
I think the coolest part about doing those lunges was that on my final 20, Carlye handed me a kettlebell. It was lighter than I had previously used, but where I should have been dying and not able to even walk last week, let alone lunge, I did it with ease this week. Don't get me wrong, I was struggling on those last 2, but I still was able to do them. It was an amazing moment!
I'm working on not obsessing over the number on the scale and focusing on getting stronger. Carlye reminded me that when your muscles heal from a heavy-duty workout that you will retain water.
I retained so much water last week I found that I actually gained 5lbs. After having the weekend to recover and not doing anything but go for an evening walk last night, I found myself 2lbs lighter than I was last week. The scale is a liar. I have got to remember that. I feel healthier and am doing so much better than I was. That is what I am going to focus on now.
Happy times await! I can't wait to see what progress I make this week!
My goal with this personal training is not necessarily for weight loss. I know that it will be a natural side effect of working my butt off...literally. My goal, as I have told Carlye is based off of a fear I have always had. You know in movies where you see that person slip and fall off the side of a cliff and are only hanging there by a few fingers or with their hand. I know that if I were ever in that situation now, I would die. Without some sort of miracle or sheer adrenaline, I would never make it back over to safety. I want to know that if that ridiculous situation were to ever happen, I could pull myself back up to the safety of ground.
This goal also stems from doing physical therapy and my physical therapist giving me wise advice. He said because of my fibromyalgia diagnosis that I will always need to have some sort of exercise regimen or I will not have the vibrant life I desire because I will be in too much pain. He is correct. Those who I know that have fibromyalgia and are not active end up being in so much pain and basically give up. It's a sad thing to watch a once vibrant person not be able to move and live off of pain meds just to get out of bed in the morning. I don't want to rely on a pill to get me out of bed so I am trying to be proactive.
Yesterday I started chore lists for the family. I did chore lists for just the boys last summer and they worked great. I decided that Zac and I could use one as well since we need structure on these long summer days. So far they have worked amazing and I hope that they continue to keep us focused. It breaks up the housework evenly and gives me the "OK" to not have to clean the entire house every day. I am the type of person who has to do an entire job all at once or I feel like a failure. If I set the goal to clean the house, then every room has to be spotless or I feel like I have failed. I am finding that giving me the OK to not clean the entire house and to break it into smaller portions is helping me not to stress over it.
If I can train myself to do that with school, I would be in great shape. This week I started my Master's classes and I have to remember to pace myself. I have a family that loves me and wants to spend time with me. I cannot spend all day on a computer responding to discussion board post. It goes back to not wanting to feel like a failure and having to complete a task fully before I can put it away. I am having to retrain my brain to say, "It's OK to not respond to everyone's discussion board posts today." I'm already ahead of schedule anyway so I can calm down and relax a bit.
Today started Week 2 with Carlye and that crazy girl tricked me into do 100 lunges. She didn't outright say, "Hey Jennifer, today I'm going to have you do 100 lunges!" No! She said, "Today we are going to start with lunges to get your heart rate up. I want you to try to do 20 each time if you can and I'll tell you why later." I was on board for 20 lunges. After my first 20 lunges across the gym, she goes and gets a light bar and demonstrates the technique she wanted me to do. I did my 20 lunges back to my original starting point. At this point I needed a drink of water so I headed over to my cubbie to get a drink from my cup. She goes and grabs 2 light weights and says, "Ok, we are going to use these for this set, and then I'll show you what we will do for the last 2 sets. The last set will be easy because you have done it before." I think it was the 3rd lunge with the two weights that my math abilities kicked back in and I realized 20 x 5= 100. I tried to block that realization.
I think the coolest part about doing those lunges was that on my final 20, Carlye handed me a kettlebell. It was lighter than I had previously used, but where I should have been dying and not able to even walk last week, let alone lunge, I did it with ease this week. Don't get me wrong, I was struggling on those last 2, but I still was able to do them. It was an amazing moment!
I'm working on not obsessing over the number on the scale and focusing on getting stronger. Carlye reminded me that when your muscles heal from a heavy-duty workout that you will retain water.
I retained so much water last week I found that I actually gained 5lbs. After having the weekend to recover and not doing anything but go for an evening walk last night, I found myself 2lbs lighter than I was last week. The scale is a liar. I have got to remember that. I feel healthier and am doing so much better than I was. That is what I am going to focus on now.
Happy times await! I can't wait to see what progress I make this week!
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